The Ceremony of Matrimony
Marelyne Imperial Tolentino and Young-Ju Chung
Saturday May 16, 1998 12:00 Noon
Words About Marriage by Fr. Fleming
Reading by Adam & Joanne Brunetti
Scripture Reading (Genesis 1:26-31)
Sermon by Pastor An
Exchange of Vows
Blessing and Exchange of Rings
Congratulatory Music by Ryan Deschamps
Benediction by Fr. Fleming
Announcements by Mr. Chung and Michael Brunetti
Filipino Wedding Traditions Performed at Reception
Korean Wedding Traditions Performed the Next Day
|Officiator||Pastor Sang Ho An|
|Co-Officiator||Fr. Peter Fleming|
|Best Man||John Luu|
|Maid of Honor||Vanessa Brunetti|
|Ushers||Michael & Adam Brunetti|
|Usherettes||Salima & Ashnoor Talib|
|Guest Book Attendants||Magdalene Furukawa & Salimah Samji|
26Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." 27So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. 28God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground." 29Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. 30And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground--everything that has the breath of life in it--I give every green plant for food." And it was so. 31God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning-the sixth day.
Sermon: "A Home That God Rejoices"
The scripture for today is found in Genesis 1:26-31 and the title is "A Home That God Rejoices".
In the beginning, God created the world and on the sixth day he created a home. Then God rested on the seventh day. God wanted to rest with a family. The first priority of a family is to rest with God. In other words, it is to keep the Sabbath day holy. By keeping the Sabbath day holy, we can maintain a genuine relationship with God. There is a story: a gentile asked question to a rabbi. What is left for God to do now that he already finished creating the world? There is probably nothing left for God to do now. The rabbi answered, "On the contrary, God is ever busier now because God brings a man and a woman together." That is, the husband and the wife is met with each other by God.
I would like to advise three things for having a home that God rejoices.
Firstly, the family that God rejoices is a family of faith. To build a high building, the solid foundation is the most important thing. Without a foundation or with shaky foundation a building cannot be built. Faith makes it possible to build a firm foundation. God searches for a faithful person and rejoices. The Bible says "without faith, one cannot make God happy." There must be a trust in God vertically and a trust in your spouse horizontally. "Human" means Anthropos in Greek which can be translated into "Look-Up". Therefore to be a truly human, you must first look up to God and trust him always. We respect Abraham, the father of faith, because Abraham trusted and obeyed God without condition. I pray that this new couple will trust and obey God unconditionally so that God will rejoice in you. Only when you trust in God, he will fulfill his grand plan for your home. Trus and obey God.
Secondly, a home that God rejoiced is a loving home. Vowing to love each other today is not an end but a beginning of love. This is a covenant to love each other for ever. Man shall not live by bread alone but by love also. Love in Chinese is Sa-Rang which means to think of someone much. Thus a husband thinks of his wife and the wife thinks of her husband all the time. As the days go by, you will start to notice the not-so-great things of the other. Whenever you run into this, you need to realize that your love is being lukewarm and should pray to God for the blessing of love. I believe the Kingdom of God is the Kingdom of Love. When you live out your life filled with love, you are demonstrating to others how Kingdom of God is like. Make a home that freely loves.
Thirdly, I demand that you love and obey your parents. In the Ten Commandments, the first commandment regarding the humans is "Obey your parents". When you keep this commandment, you fulfill the scripture and will be blessed by God. In doing so the Bible says "You will prosper and your days will be long". I pray that this new couple will be blessed in their physical health and also in their financial health. I ask God to grant you overflowing blessing so that you will share your blessing with others. The secret for this is by obeying your parents. This includes your in-laws also. The parents who gave birth and brough up your loving spouse are more than to be praised.
Therefore, make a home that trusts and obeys God, loves each other and respects the parents. This is the home that God rejoices.
Thank you Lord for building and blessing this new home. Grant them the faith like that Abraham, allow them to love each other so that the Kingdom of God will be realized in their home. Help them to love and respect their parents so that they will be blessed and live a long life. Bless them with proud children and let them never have to worry about daily bread. Bless both families and all the people here witnessing this holy wedding. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
In First Corinthians Chapter 13, love is described as:
"always being patient and kind, it is never jealous, never boastful or conceited, it is never rude or selfish, it does not take offense, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasures in other people's sins but delights in the truth, it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end."
In Ephesians Chapter 5 Verses 21 through 33, it says:
"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery -- but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
We can go on and on, quoting verses from the Bible, but we won't. What's important is for us to realize that happiness doesn't just happen by itself. Happiness in marriage must be created. We've all heard once or twice that "it's the little things that matter in life". This is true of everything and of everybody. Here's a few things to keep in mind:
As Khalil Jibran said:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
Let us pray. Lord help us to remember that anything beautiful that we have came from
you. In the beginning, you gave us our free will and our identity to walk this earth. Help
us to find one more thing that is beautiful with partners and those around us. That each
day we know that the next day will be more beautiful than the one before. Help us all to
live in your love. Amen.
In the old days, couples were arranged to be married and hence have never met before. The wedding day is the first time the couple meet. Hence, the bowing of the bride and groom serve as a formal introduction to each other. This is a Korean tradition.
The lighting of the candles represents the beginning of Marelyne and Young's new life together. The two outside candles are lit by Marelyne and Young's mothers to represent their lives to this moment. The lights, representing the faith, wisdom, and love they have received from their parents are distinct, each burning alone. They light the center candle to symbolize the union of their lives. From now on their thoughts shall be for each other, and joys and sorrows shall be shared alike. By allowing the flame of the two smaller candles to remain lit, they also accept the individuality of each other as a means to fulfilling their oneness.
Arras or Coin Ceremony
This involves Marelyne cupping her hands under Young's cupped hands, the priest dribbles thirteen silver coins into the Young's open palms, trickling like a water falls into the Marelyne's hands, and from her palms into a sack held underneath by Vincent Brunetti. The thirteen coins represent the Young and Marelyne's commitment to share the wealth and poverty they may encounter in their marriage.
The veil, as part of the wedding ritual, is a symbol of togetherness. It is draped around Marelyne and Young to underscore their union as husband and wife. They will share the joys and sorrows of their married life in the days that lie ahead. Together, all problems can be surmounted if the good and bad times are shared, not falling on one partner's shoulders alone.
The cord or yugal (nuptial tie, a silken cord or strand of flowers or coins, even diamonds) has no end. It is one continuous cord draped around Marelyne and Young, over the veil, symbolizing an infinite bond of their togetherness, a union that lasts a lifetime.
To welcome the bride and groom, fresh fruits, dried fruits, and rice cakes all colorfully decorated are laid out on a long narrow tea table. The newly-wed couple bow to the groom's parents who are sitting down on the other side of the table. The bow expresses the couple's appreciation for the parents' love and care for them. The parents bless the newly-wed couple for a happy and long marriage life. The bride and groom then pour a Korean liquor made from rice into p'yojubak for the groom's parents. Finally, the groom's parents throw chestnuts and jujubes at the new couple. The chestnuts symbolize the respect with which the couple will serve the groom's family, and the jujubes are symbols of diligence. As these are thrown, the family wishes the wife to produce a son, who will be prosperous. The number of jujubes caught by the bride in her skirt is supposed to indicate the number of sons she will produce and chestnuts, the number of daughters. In our case, Marelyne caught 6 jujubes and 0 chestnuts (since no chestnuts were thrown). I guess we've got some work ahead of us...
I, Young-Ju, take you, Marelyne, as my lawful wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
I, Marelyne, take you,Young, as my lawful husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
Exchange of Rings
Marelyne, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Young, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.